I'm not ready for this.
But at the same time, this month has been one of my favorites.
Kayleigh is learning so much these days. And she is just so much fun. I'm loving it.
I love watching her waddle around in her funny high-step fashion, I love the way that she tries to share her food with me. I love that she squeals with joy whenever she sees an animal--or a flower--or a brightly colored sign. I love the way she presses her forehead against mine when she's ready to go to bed, and I love hearing her say "Mama" when I'm all that she wants.
I love how playful she is, and the way she giggles when we play hide-and-seek or chase her across the room. I love what a goofball she is with her daddy. I love how delicately she picks up each piece of food when she's eating, the way she claps/signs "More" and the way she whirls her arms in frantic circles to say "All done."
I love her serious talking face. She nods her head up and down, uses her big, expressive eyes, and strings together full sentences of Kayleigh talk. She thinks she's so big. She loves thinking she's big.
My Precious Girl,
The last 30 days of your first year are so bittersweet. How can my baby be so big and yet so adorably little at the same time? My heart breaks to know that we are closing the chapter of the year you were born. It has been such a wonderful year! And although I've treasured so many things in my heart, I wonder if I've done it enough. Will I look back and regret not spending more time cherishing every pruny wrinkle of your fresh-out-of-the-bath toes, or the way your cheeks jiggle when you dance? I hope that I've kissed the tip of your nose and pressed my finger into the dimples of your skin often enough to last me a lifetime. I don't want to look back and wish that I had. I know that I will look back and wish that I could hold your newborn body again just to cherish the newness of it, and I'm sure I'll find a thousand more sweet moments that I wish I could return to. As much as I already miss what you have been, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm excited to see what you will be. You are so precious to me--such a joy! I love imagining all of the things you will be showing me in the coming days. There are so many fun things ahead of us, Baby Girl. I pray every day that we will be given enough time together in this life to enjoy them all. I love you, my sweet Kayleigh Grace!