My Last "Kids Say the Darndest Things" Post for a While

Now that I'm at home, it's going to be a while before I have more funny kid quotes to share--at least, until Miss Kayleigh can talk :-)

 

Here are some more laughs from my little spiral bound happy book:

(Remember, these children are 4 and 5 years  old.  They crack me up!)

 

Alan: Miss Betha--mmm!  Your hair smells good!

 

Jeremy: Mommy says I will be a good police officer when I grow up.

Me: Oh!  You want to be a police officer?

Jeremy: Nope.

Hallie: I know what I want to be when I grow up!
Me: What do you want to be, Hallie?

Hallie: A pet fish!

 

Adalee: Miss Bethany, Ray just punched me!

Me: Ray!  Don't put your hands on your friends.

Adalee: Not his hands.

Me: ???  What did he punch you with?

Adalee: With his butt!

 

Bryce:  (crying) I accidentally bumped Naomi's face, and now her eye hurts.

Me:  She's ok, I checked.  I know it was an accident, Bryce.  You don't need to cry!

Bryce: No, I'm crying because my mom said that if I hurt any more friends, she would leave me here and not take me home!

 

(While reading a story about a woman who goes to a well)

Me: What is a well?

Bryce:  Uhh...it's kinda like a dolphin.

 

Sophia:  Look at my pretty pink nails!
Alden:  I don't have pink on my nails because I'm not a girl yet.

 

Me: What animal does pork come from?

Sydney: A porkypine!

 

Andrew (while seated near my feet at Calender time):  Miss Bethany, I'm lucky your shoes are so beautiful!

 

Alden: I want to change the leaves' colors.

Nichole: You can't.  Only God can!

 

Riley (pouting): I did not want to come to school today.

Me: Neither did I!  Let's all just go home.

Naomi: No!  I don't want to turn into a donkey!

Miss Anne: Whaaat?!?

Naomi: My mom says that if I don't go to school, I'll turn into a donkey like the boys in Pinocchio.

 

Me: *whistling*

Jeremy: I can't do that!
Sydney: I can! *whistles*

Jeremy: Oh no...only girls can whistle.  *Sigh*

 

Me: Joshua!  Why is Bryce doing your classwork?

Joshua: *shrugs* Friends help friends.

 

Class (reciting lunchtime prayer): Thank you, God, for everything!  Amen.

Gordon:  I say "a-women."

 

Adalee (tattling): Alan said "fat!"

Alan (looks up in surprise): I didn't hear me say that...

 

Me (as Alden shows me his picture):  Wow, Alden, that's a piece of modern art!

Ethan: What's "modanar?"

Alden: A sandwich?

 

Jolene (whispers): Miss Bethany, this morning, my brother almost said a bad word.

 

Me: What does a strawberry smell like?

3 year old: A triangle!

 

Adalee: Miss Bethany, I sat down too hard and hurt my button!  (bottom)

 

Miss Gina:  Let's talk about the 5 senses.  What is something we can see?

Arnold: A TV!

Miss Gina:  Good!  Now, Elliott, what is something we can taste?

Arnold (whispers to Elliott):  I'll give you a hit: don't say TV!

 

Travis:  I told my mom to have two more babies...that way, me, my brother, and the babies could play Super Mario 4 players.

 

Riley (looking at my 4D ultrasound of Kayleigh):  What is it so dark in there?!?

 

Joshua:  Can I have some more?

Miss Caroline:  "Can I have some more, please?"

Joshua (slaps forehead): Ugh!  I always forget that little word.

 

Miss Gina: What does it mean when men and women get married?

Rachel:  That they're going to have a baby!

 

Riley (to me): Why are you wearing lipstick?

Jiahao: Because she has to wear it to look pretty!

 

Rachel (sits up during naptime):  I can't sleep!
Me: Why not?

Rachel: My sheets don't match my pillowcase!

 

Caleb (on July 5th):  I heard fireworks last night!   It was louder than when my mom cracks an egg.

 

Valin: ...and we can be married!
Sydney: Do we really have to be married?

Valin: Only if we kiss...

 

Anna: What song is this? (listening to my Disney CD)

Me: "Chim-Chiminey" from Mary Poppins.

Anna: That's not Mary Poppins!  That's a man!

 

Madison: Miss Bethany, you're a princess castle!

Me: Why?

Madison: Because you're as up-in-the-air as one!

 

Sydney: We don't have dogs or cats at my house because my dad is allergic to their hair.

Valin: But...your dad has hair on his face...

Sydney: *gasp* Maybe he's allergic to hisself!

 

Miss Denise (shows a picture card): What is this?

Class: Apple!

Miss Denise: Good!  And what sound does "apple" make?

Class: /a/! /a/! /a/!

Miss Denise: Great! What about this? (shows another card)

Class: Bird!

Denise: Yes!  What sound does "bird" make?

Class: Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

 

Miss Ana: What does a king do?

Bryson: He cooks for the queen.

Stephanie: No!  He just sits in his magic chair.

 

Me: Madison, why isn't your homework in your folder?

Madison: I don't know!  I guess the leprechauns took it!

 

Eric: Miss Bethany, what happened to your tummy?!?

Me: It's growing--there's a baby in it.

Eric (wide-eyed and horrified): WHY?!?!?

 

Elizabeth: Miss Bethany, you can draw trees?  Wow!  You're a good drawer!

 

Sophia:  Yesterday, I went to Chuck-in-the-Cheese!

 

Me: Alden, go get a napkin and wipe your mouth.  You have food all over your face.

Alden:  I know.  That's what I ate for breakfast.

 

Caleb: I really am a superhero...just... nobody knows it yet.

 

Jiahao: That man outside is smoking!
Alden:  Oh no!  His lungs are gonna look like a barbeque.

 

Caleb: Rachel, you and I should get married anytime.

Rachel: Why?

Caleb: Because, boy plus girl makes sense.

 

Riley (pointing to the belt I was wearing just below my bust): Why is your belt all the way up there?

Me: I have to wear it up high because my belly is too big for me to wear it around my waist.

Riley: You should just take that baby out so that you can be skinny again!

Cuteness

I have a little yellow notebook that I keep in my classroom to record the cute little things my students say every day.  I brought it home with me tonight so that I could type some of them up and share them with you :-)  Enjoy!

(Keep in mind that most of these children are 4, and very few are from English-speaking homes)

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Cathy: I want to draw pictures--of cars, butterflies, and a yo-yo.

Jeremy: A firefighter, so I could spray water on the fires.

Andrew: A Fireman.  I would have a race car with a rope [hose] for the water.  There's a hook for the rope on the race car.  I would need a race car to drive fast and hurry and help the peoples where they got fires and dying.

Mat:  A robot.  I will do my hands like this [motions].  My brother will be an astronaut so we can play.  I'll be green, and have a red tool belt.  I'll have tools to fix the things that are broken.

Gordon:  I want to be airplane pilot.  My plane can spill water on the fires.  If Andrew had a fire, I would "spshhhhhhhh!" on the fire.  No more fires.

Sydney: A doctor.  I'm going to give everybody shots.  If they ask for stickers, I'm going to give them some.  I'll give them water, too, and then they go home.

Hallie: A princess.  I love my mommy.  She's so pretty.  I will pick flowrs.

Amir: Superman.  I want to fly.  Sitting on top of the wall.  I would fly up to the outerspaceship.

 

4 Year Old Cuteness

I'm loving being back with such young ones again.  They are so much fun, and always giving me giggles!

I'm still sick (went to the doctor AGAIN yesterday and for the first time in 4 weeks was finally given antibiotics!) so I don't feel like I'm being the fun, energetic Pre-K teacher I want to be, but I'm enjoying them regardless.

Here are some cute snippets from last week:

Boys playing on the carpet with toy cars, one says to the rest, "Follow me through the parking lot.  Parking around here is pretty tricky..."

 

Child to parent: Mommy!  Today I learned to shake the Hula!

 

Teacher: This is a picture of a cactus.  Where could we go to find a cactus?

Student: Mississippi!

 

I Really Should Just Open a Bakery...

Today, as I was walking a group of third graders back to their class after practicing their speech with me, one of the little boys came up alongside me.
"Mrs. Brubaker?  I have a question," He said, pushing his glasses up on his nose, "Do you like to bake?"
"Yes, I do,"  I smiled at him. 

It was sort of a random question, but being 2.5 years into this marriage, I had an inkling where his train of thought was going.

"I thought so," He said proudly, as if he had cracked a major mystery, "That's why your name is Mrs. Brubaker!"


Oh, yes...I am Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Bagel, Mrs. Bakery, Mrs. Blueberry, Mrs. Blue Bagel, Mrs. Rude Baker, Mrs. Blue Baker, and Mrs. Cake Baker.  I feel like I must have heard them all by now.  But each one still makes me laugh, and I know that with childrens' creativity, they're just going to keep coming!

Election Day

This is a conversation I heard at school today that made me laugh:

Teacher: Alright, class, time to go to lunch!  Please get your things quickly; I need to run out during lunch and vote.
Second Grader: Are you going to vote for yourself?
Teacher: No!  I'm going to vote for the candidates.
Second Grader: Oh.  My daddy nominated himself for governor!

A Smile When I Need It

I had an interview today.  For a 3rd/4th combined class.

I'm not one to be nervous about interviews usually, but after interviewing for a job at my church's school and being rejected, my confidence level has taken a beating this summer.

As I was collecting things to bring with me (samples of my lesson plans, pictures of things I've done with students), I found the book that the 3rd grade class from my student teaching days made for me.  It brought a smile to my face!

They were a fun class!

A letter from Raquel

"An Appreciated Letter For Mrs. Brubaker"

Dear Mrs. Brubaker.

Thank you for teaching me lots of things!  Now I'm a verry smart girl.  You are verry sweat [hopefully that means sweet!] and kind.  I will miss you.  Once again, Thank You!

Best Regards, Joie

Brubaker is very helpful

Really pretty

Unique

Brubaker never gives up (she's 100% cool!)

Always on the lead

Knows everything

Everday has everything ready

Really nice

p.s. that's why I asked you yesterday what "best regards" means so that I can put it on here.

p.p.s.  I think that you will be a good teacher.

p.p.p.s. You taught me everything that you were supposed to teach me and that's why I'm so smart.

p.p.p.p.s. thank you for everything you did.

p.p.p.p.p.s. I will never forget about you!

From Jessie:

I will miss you so much, Mrs. Brububaker.  I will never forget you.  You are one of my fovete teacher.  You are very nice, pretty, and smart.  I kown you are going to be a very good teacher and what ever class has you they are very lucky.

♥ Jessie

I like your hair

From Audrey

From Anthony:

Dear Brubaker,

Thanks for coming.  I miss you.  Could you name some students at your old school?  I would be proud if you say I'm one of them.  Mrs. Lee invited you to come back for a good party.  See you later!

Love, Anthony

"This is a reminder of how class looks like"

Dear Mrs. B,

Thank you for having lunch with us!   I can't believe how Jubileo cannon balled our group hug and you almost tripped.  Wow!  Don't forget us I miss really bad!  Don't forget the class.

Love, Maddie

Dear Mrs. Brubaker,

Thank you for teaching me every thing.  Thank you for teaching me math and spelling.  I liked how you taught us how to be quiet.  Plus I love how you taught us how to write a letter.  I mostly like when you taught us how to do fractions.

Love, S
teve

From Daniel

Silly class shot

That fills me with happy thoughts!

Pray for me today as I wait to hear back from the interview!

I hope I have good news by this time tomorrow.  I'm ready for it :-)

Riley

One of the 3rd graders I have in my math class this summer cracks me up!
He is always moving around, always getting in to something, and always saying something hilarious.  Here are my two favorite moments from yesterday and today:

As the opening activity for a lesson on solving math problems by drawing picture representations, I wrote this problem on the board:

If Cala has 3 pretzels, find out how many pretzels each of her friends has:
Courtney has 6 more pretzels than Rashaun
Rashaun has 2 fewer cookies than Taisha
Taisha has twice as many cookies as Cala has.

I drew four stick figures up on the board and wrote a name under each to make it easier for the kids to solve.  As we figured out how many pretzels each friend had, we wrote the number under the stick figure.  Once we had solved the entire problem, I told the kids that they could throw away the scratch paper they had used, and get out their math books.

"Mrs. Brubaker, I can't throw this scratch paper away!  There's a war on it," Riley cried.
Completely puzzled, I told him that there was no war.
"Yes, there is," He yelled, and running up to me, he took the dry-erase marker out of my hand and drew a bow and arrow in the hand of each of my stick figures.  Each arrow was pointed at the stick figure to the right, and the last stick figure's arrow went underneath the stick-figure-gang and came up to shoot the first stick figure. 

What an imagination!  No wonder he can't concentrate on his assignments :-)



And then today, Riley interrupted me during our lesson to ask me if I had any children.
"Nope," I replied with a smile, "just you guys!"
"Ohhh..." Riley's face turned up into a slow smile, "So, we're like, your reinforcement family?"

Those Little Teaching Moments

Today, in the middle of 1st/2nd grade math, a little girl raised her hand.
"Yes, Katie?" I asked, expecting her to need help with a math problem.
Instead, she stood, walked up the aisle to me, put her yellow #2 pencil in front of my face and said,
"Mrs. Bluebaker, I don't like the color of this pencil."

Not in this little town...

I began teaching math at First Lutheran's summer program last week.
As one of my ice breakers, I thought it would be fun to do a little math "mind reader" game with them.
Let's see if it works on you:

As quickly as you can, add these problems mentally:

1+1=
2+2=
3+3=
4+4=
5+5=
6+6=
7+7=
8+8=
9+9=
10+10=

Now, quick!  What's the first vegetable that comes to mind?










If you answered carrot, you're among the 95% or so of Americans who think this way.  I thought it would be fun if I could "read the minds" of my students and impress them by knowing they would answer carrot.

Well, not in this little town.

Sometimes, I forget that I'm in the minority around here.

When I asked them to tell me what vegetable first popped into their minds, the number one answer I got was "cabbage."  The runner up was kimchi.  Does that even count as a vegetable?

She's a Curly Girl, That One!

Yesterday while sitting on the ground outside with the preschoolers, one of the little girls walked up to me and caught one of my curls in her hand.
"Mrs. Bluemaker," She said, twisting my hair between her fingers, "Your hair is wiggly!"

The Marrying Age

"Hailey's gettin' married," Mikayla skipped over to inform me about her 4 year old peer.
"She is?  Who's the lucky guy?" I played along.
"Cayden."
"And does Cayden know he's getting married?"
Mikayla shrugged.  "I dunno..."  And she was off.

I called Cayden over to get his side.  Things like this are so amusing!
"Cayden, are you getting married?"  I asked
"Nope," He looked up at me, "I've still got some growing up to do!  I'll probably get married when I'm 8 or 9."
"8 or 9 years old?"  I laughed.
"Yeah," He said matter-of-factly, "or maybe when I'm 91."

Happy Mother's Day!

I had the preschool class I'm taking care of right now (12 adorable 3 year olds) help me make cards for their moms for Mother's Day by filling in some sentences I had created. Some of their ideas were sweet, some were funny, and some make you go, "whaaaaa???"
Here are some of their answers:

"My mom's name is...Mommy."
--Sophia

"My mom is prettiest when she...puts her make-up on."
--Cayden

"I like to make my mom smile by...saying 'cheese!'"
--Kimberly

"When I am sad, my mom...gives me a bandaid."
--Sophia

"My mom is a good cook! My favorite thing she makes for me is...McDonalds."
--Cayden

"I know she loves me because...she hugs me."
--Zion

My mom is prettiest when she...wears pants."
--Juan

"I like to make my mom smile by...playing with her."
--Sophia

"When I am sad, my mom...makes silly faces with me."
--Sammy

"My mom is prettiest when she...is being happy."
--Jaden

"My mom is a good cook! My favorite thing she makes for me is...breakfast."
--Victoria

"I like to make my mom smile by...putting on a show for her."
--Zion

"I know she loves me because...I make her laugh."
--Cayden

"I like to make my mom smile by...making pancakes for her in the kitchen with Daddy."
--Sammy

"I know she loves me because...she's my mom!"
--Jaden

"I Wanna Kiss You"

I wasn't quite sure what to say on my first day of subbing in preschool on Monday, when a cute little 2 year old came up to me and said, "I wanna kiss you!"
"You want to kiss me?" I asked, "ok, you can kiss my hand." And I held out the back of my hand for him.
"Noo! I wanna kiss you!"
"What do you mean," I asked, confused. "Show me."
And with that, he got out of his chair, ran over to the counter, and pulled a tissue from the Kleenex box.
"A KISSYOU!" He said, and wiped his little nose.

Priscilla's Prediction

This happened about a month ago, but I was never able to put the picture up, so I didn't both writing about it.  Now that I have a new computer, I can!  Please don't get sick of my posts as I play catch up :)
(I found the camera cord, by the way, in case you didn't figure that out!  Jesse's car is an excellent black hole for all of your lost item needs...)


On the way to a field trip to see the play "Miss Nelson is Missing," I sat next to little Priscilla, one of my kindergarteners.

"Mrs. Brubaker, do you have kids?"
"Nope."
"Well, do you want kids?" She persisted.
When I answered "someday," she asked to see my hand.
She looked at it carefully for a few minutes, tracing the lines and studying every curve.

"Two girls...and a boy," She said matter of factly.
"Two girls and a boy?" I repeated.
"Yup, that's what I think you're gonna have."
I looked at her surprised.  She looked back at me with a question:
"Can you tell me if I'm right?"

The Secret Ingredient

I swear, this kindergarten class is the cutest thing ever!

Lucas came up to me this morning and said, "My mom makes the bestest quesadillas!  And you know what?" He asked with big eyes.

"What?" I smiled, leaning in.

"She puts a secret ingredient in them!"

"Ohh!  A secret ingredient?  What is it?"

He motioned for me to bend down so he could whisper in my ear.  Pushing my hair aside, and checking to make sure no one else could hear, he whispered excitedly, "Cheese!"

It Must be March...

Here's a funny moment from Kindergarten science this morning:

We were learning about rocks, sand, and soil when I had a fun bit of information for them.  "Does anyone know what the hardest rock in the whole wide world is?"  (Kindergarteners don't know what precious stones or minerals are, for that matter, so "rock" is the word for diamonds!)

Many hands went up with suggestions like "mountains," "boulders," "lava rock," and others, but my favorite answer came from little Vincent, who threw his arm excitedly into the air and shouted out before even being called on, "Shamrocks!"

Those silly presidents...

Today, while reviewing pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters in class, I asked the kindergarteners if they knew whose head was on the quarter.  They all stared blankly, so I gave them a hint.
"He was the very first president of the United States," I said.
Kevin shot his hand up.  "Obama!" He shouted, without even waiting to be called on.
Lauren shook her head. "That can't be Obama," she said importantly.  I sighed with relief that she could tell the difference between a very anglican-looking old man and the current president of the US.  All my hopes were dashed, however, when the reason she knew it wasn't Obama was because, "Obama's bald!"

The Donut No No

One of the kindergarteners brought donuts to share with all of her friends at recess today.  I passed them out right before the bell rang, and the kids praised the little girl up and down for bringing their favorite treat. 
"Reine, could you do this every day?" One of them asked.
Charlie shook his head, "No!  We can't do this every day.  Donuts have too many calories!"

In This Day and Age...

Here is a snippet of a conversation from Kindergarten a couple days ago:

Lauren: "I wish I had 100 Webkinz." (Webkinz are this generation's Beanie Babies)
Jacob: "Oh yeah? I wish I had infinity Webkinz."
Lucas: "Oh yeah? I wish I had google Webkinz!"
Me: "Google Webkinz?"
Lucas: "Yeah. Google is more than infinity because Google has everything."


!!!!

Kindergarten

Well, I've left 4/5th grade behind me, and moved down to Kindergarten for the next 10 weeks!

These kiddos are gauranteed to give me lots of things to write about. Here are my two favorites from this week:

During Science Time:
Me: Ok, so we've talked about some animals that have fur, and animals that have skin, and animals that have scales; now let's talk about animals that have feathers. Who can tell me what animal has feathers?
Lucas: Horses!

During Circle Time:
Me: Lauren, you need to sit still.
Lauren: Sorry, Mrs. BroomMaker, but my bones are having a party.