Worth Fighting For

Handsome Man and I went to the most beautiful wedding on Saturday.  I'm looking forward to sharing some of our pictures with you later this week, but today I want to tell you about my favorite moment during the ceremony.

Paul and Bethany wrote their own vows.  They were beautiful, unique, and heartfelt.  Something that I found very striking was that they both ended their vows with the same phrase.  I wish I had it word for word (I'll ask them in two weeks when they get back from their honeymoon!), but it was something to this effect:

I promise to put God first, to love you with His love,
and I promise to fight for our marriage.

I love that.  These two aren't coming into marriage all starry-eyed expecting that it's going to be easy.  Four years in, I can tell you that it isn't.  Marriage takes work.  It takes commitment, perseverance, and more love than you could ever think it would.  The promise to fight for your marriage shows that you know that it's worth it.  This couple has many growing days ahead of them.  Days when they will be stretched, days when outside elements may leave them shaky.

But when you know that something is worth fighting for, you protect it with everything you have.

Paul and Bethany weren't expecting that their vows would be put to the test before their wedding ceremony was even over, but during the lighting of the Unity Candle, something beautiful happened that everyone in attendance will remember for years to come.

Wind was swirling around the beautiful hill above a vineyard, and the Unity Candle wouldn't stay lit.  The pastor tried over and over again to light the wicks, but as soon as he backed away for the bride and groom to do their part, the fire would extinguish.  Paul and Bethany tried to shield the candle from the wind with their hands, but it was no use.

Next, Bethany picked up the hymnal that was beside the candle and used it to protect the fire, but the wind still blew out the flame before they could do anything.

They were at a loss.  As hard as they tried to shield their wedding candle from the wind, they couldn't do it on their own.  The wind was too strong, coming from every angle, and the two newlyweds couldn't protect their precious candle by themselves.


It was getting to the point where we were starting to feel sorry for them.  Every wedding has its little quirks, the things that don't quite go as planned.  And it was looking like  the story of how their Unity Candle wouldn't light at their wedding was one that Paul and Bethany would be telling for years to come.  


Just when I started thinking that they were going to give up and continue with the wedding sans candle, the bride motioned to their wedding party, "We need to huddle!"

And with that, ten bridesmaids and ten groomsmen encircled Paul, Bethany, and their Unity Candle.  They formed a tight circle, linking arms and huddling close.  They were not about to let the wind blow their friends' candle out.

Everyone let out a chuckle when they saw Bethany's "two thumbs up!" from behind the wall of friends, but the beauty of what had just happened didn't disappear.

When the wind threatened to extinguish this bride and groom's symbol of unity, they did everything they could to protect their candle from it.  And when the two of them were not enough, twenty of their best friends stepped in to create an impenetrable barrier, protecting it for them.

Isn't that beautiful?

Too often, we try to do things by ourselves.  We're this world of lonely people floundering around thinking no one else can understand.  But when we are surrounded by loving, supportive friends, even the worst storms in life won't be able to take us down.

I'm glad that Paul and Bethany have that figured out.  With a love founded in Christ, invested in each other, and surrounded by friends, their marriage is off to a beautiful beginning.

Our Anniversary Weekend

Handsome Man and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on June 8th. In the past, we've done big trips to celebrate (like this one and this one) and then came Kayleigh :) Last year, we went to a special restaurant, and this year, we left our baby girl overnight for the first time and spent our anniversary in Santa Barbara.

Santa Barbara has always held a special place in my heart.  It was only about 40 minutes from where I grew up, so it was our family's favorite place to go on special days.  Jesse and I have spent a lot of our romantic dates in Santa Barbara, so it was fun to go back to some of our favorite spots, and try some new ones, too!

Jesse handled all of the planning, which I loved.  It was fun to give him the reins and let him choose what we were going to do for the day.  I couldn't have done better myself!

First on the list (after a rather tearful goodbye when leaving Kayleigh with my parents) was a wine bistro.  Different from wine tasting at a winery, the State Street Wine Bistro gave us the opportunity to sit at a quiet table on a nice little patio and enjoy sampling glass after glass while the Sommelier (am I fancy or what now?!?) brought out food pairings to go with each wine.  We were able to spend as much time as we wanted to enjoying what we were given.  It was perfect!  No rushing around, bustling between other tourists...it was just for us.

We had a lovely time.

When we were finished, we walked past shops, street performers, and gorgeous little alcoves until we reached the water.

It's been a long time since we've spent time as just two of us.  Even though I missed Kayleigh, I loved my time with my Handsome Man.  Being back to one of our first date spots, spending the day alone and enjoying each other was the best way to celebrate our 4th anniversary.  Looking forward to many more to come!

A Growing Morning

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This morning did not go as planned.

What Jesse and I had looked forward to as a morning spent together searching for a new computer for me turned into a morning of unexpected hiccups.  The property manager called to tell us that the repairmen we had requested two weeks ago would be arriving today sometime between 9am and 2pm.  Suddenly, our computer shopping time was taken away from us, the printer refused to print out the pages we needed, and somehow, instead of banding together against these seemingly annoying-but-harmless inconveniences, we let them reduce us to two selfish people overwhelmed by the things not going our way.

How does this happen?

I'm feeling especially convicted about my attitude right now.  Yes, it's very frustrating to be at home all day in  a house where the floor doesn't meet the bathtub and you can't shower without the risk of mold growing underneath, or where the counter tile hasn't been laid yet so the contents of your bathroom have been in boxes for the past two weeks, or where something's wrong with the ventilation system in your laundry room so that even if you run the dryer 4 times, the clothes still come out damp.  It's stressful, frustrating, and a little too out-of-my-hands for this control freak.  But that doesn't mean that I should lose it at the thought of going one more day without a computer.

I've been studying Proverbs 31 through Good Morning Girls, and through my time in the Word this morning after Jesse left, I realized with disappointment that I have not lived up to being a Proverbs 31 woman this week.  I have let the state of our home overpower my desire to be a loving and selfless wife, and have instead allowed it to fuel my selfishness and make demands of my Handsome Man that are too much for him on top of everything at his new job.

She will do him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12

All the days.  That means I don't get to take good attitude timeouts when things don't go my way.  I can't flip out over the fact that there are no pictures hung up on the walls and oh-my-gosh-we've-lived-here-for-two-weeks-already.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:26

Ouch.  I have allowed the circumstances around us to take every word of kindness off of my tongue this week.  I have whined, badgered, and complained.  There is no wisdom in that, and definitely no love.

No, things didn't go as I had planned this morning.  But God had a different plan for me today.  Instead of getting what I wanted, God showed me that I wasn't doing what He wanted me to do.

Jesse left me this morning with a kiss, and the gift of his computer for the day.  He loves me enough to lay down what he needs to satisfy my selfish desires.  A man like that is a gift from God, and worth learning every difficult lesson for!

Thanks, God, for making me grow this morning.

A Purposeful 2012

My Handsome Man and I welcomed in the new year with an incredible hike to Cascade Falls near Lake Tahoe today.

It was a wonderful time to refocus on our "oneness" as we left our sweet Kayleigh behind at the cabin with a Grammy, Papa, and two doting aunts to fight over her :)

We talked about everything from past trips, engagement memories, future vacation dreams, and our hopes for 2012.

Jesse asked me what my New Year's Resolutions were. I don't have any. I've never really done "resolutions" because I see them as kind of a way to set up for failure. Sorry to be pessimistic.

I had goals I wanted to achieve in 2011, but a lot of them got set aside in anticipation of our baby girl. I'm happy with that, and I don't feel like I failed anything because my goals weren't resolutions set in stone. 2011 wasn't anything like I expected, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Over the past month, though, I have been thinking of things I hope to be and do in 2012. Nothing huge, nothing monumental. Just ways that I can use the time that God has given me as a stay at home mom to be more purposeful. So here's my list of purposeful goals that I've set out to accomplish in 2012:

Encourage Others (Hebrews 10:24)

Now that I'm at home, I don't get to interact with people as frequently as I did when I was working outside of the home. It's easy to become an introvert and think only about my own little family. This year, I want to purposefully focus on being an encourager to others. One way I can do that is to write letters of encouragement to those in my life. I want to write encouraging letters to my grandparents, church friends, far away friends, and family.

My goal is to write one letter a week.

Cherish Each Day (Luke 2:19)

A lot of people scrapbook, take a photo a day, or do something to preserve memories for each day of the year. I love to scrapbook, but totally fail on faithfully archiving memories. I love taking pictures, but never actually print them out. My solution to this is the index box calendar that I found on Design Sponge. This is something I can actually do! And I love the idea of seeing daily reminders of what my family has done through the years. It's exciting to think of writing "Kayleigh took her first step today!" and then a few years down the line, writing "Baby #2's first ultrasound!" on the same index card.

My goal is to purposefully treasure each day of the year by writing down one line per day.

Blog with a Purpose (Matthew 25:14-30)

I'm excited and honored with the interest in this blog. I haven't done a good job of cultivating it into something purposeful, but that is a big goal for this year! I want to be more organized in my blogging, share more craft ideas, invite more guest bloggers to share their posts, and eventually get to where I can have sponsorship on my blog. This is an exciting goal for me!

My goal is to spend more time learning about how to create a successful blog, less time just bumming around on the internet. Work with a purpose.

Teach Kayleigh about her Savior (Matthew 19:14)

Yes, she's only three months old, but she's growing so quickly and learning so much each day! She loves looking at brightly colored picture books and being sung to, and I'm going to be purposeful about using her interest in these things to read the little children's Bible stories we have, and sing her songs about Jesus. Babies understand more than we give them credit for, and I want my little one to be aware of her Heavenly Father's love!

My goal is to read to Kayleigh every day, pray for her with Jesse each night, and sing to her.

Love My Husband with Everything in Me (1 John 4:7-8)

It's alarming how easy it is to move from "wife" to "mother" and forget that my calling now is to be both. There are so many times that I place Kayleigh's needs first, mine after that, and then give Jesse whatever energy, love, and strength is left in me. That's not fair! I want to love him with a purpose--to rejoice in every triumph, comfort in each sorrow, and be there to listen to each detail of his day. I love our Kayleigh--and she is a precious gift--but I wouldn't have her without my Handsome Man. Spending today with him alone reminded me that I need to be more purposeful about finding time to spend alone with him.

My goal: more date nights, love notes, good conversation, hand-holding.

So there they are. Nothing earth-shaking, but things that I want to work on this year.

What are your goals for 2012?