Now that I'm at home, it's going to be a while before I have more funny kid quotes to share--at least, until Miss Kayleigh can talk :-)
Here are some more laughs from my little spiral bound happy book:
(Remember, these children are 4 and 5 years old. They crack me up!)
Alan: Miss Betha--mmm! Your hair smells good!
Jeremy: Mommy says I will be a good police officer when I grow up.
Me: Oh! You want to be a police officer?
Hallie: I know what I want to be when I grow up!
Me: What do you want to be, Hallie?
Hallie: A pet fish!
Adalee: Miss Bethany, Ray just punched me!
Me: Ray! Don't put your hands on your friends.
Adalee: Not his hands.
Me: ??? What did he punch you with?
Adalee: With his butt!
Bryce: (crying) I accidentally bumped Naomi's face, and now her eye hurts.
Me: She's ok, I checked. I know it was an accident, Bryce. You don't need to cry!
Bryce: No, I'm crying because my mom said that if I hurt any more friends, she would leave me here and not take me home!
(While reading a story about a woman who goes to a well)
Me: What is a well?
Bryce: Uhh...it's kinda like a dolphin.
Sophia: Look at my pretty pink nails!
Alden: I don't have pink on my nails because I'm not a girl yet.
Me: What animal does pork come from?
Sydney: A porkypine!
Andrew (while seated near my feet at Calender time): Miss Bethany, I'm lucky your shoes are so beautiful!
Alden: I want to change the leaves' colors.
Nichole: You can't. Only God can!
Riley (pouting): I did not want to come to school today.
Me: Neither did I! Let's all just go home.
Naomi: No! I don't want to turn into a donkey!
Miss Anne: Whaaat?!?
Naomi: My mom says that if I don't go to school, I'll turn into a donkey like the boys in Pinocchio.
Jeremy: I can't do that!
Sydney: I can! *whistles*
Jeremy: Oh no...only girls can whistle. *Sigh*
Me: Joshua! Why is Bryce doing your classwork?
Joshua: *shrugs* Friends help friends.
Class (reciting lunchtime prayer): Thank you, God, for everything! Amen.
Gordon: I say "a-women."
Adalee (tattling): Alan said "fat!"
Alan (looks up in surprise): I didn't hear me say that...
Me (as Alden shows me his picture): Wow, Alden, that's a piece of modern art!
Ethan: What's "modanar?"
Alden: A sandwich?
Jolene (whispers): Miss Bethany, this morning, my brother almost said a bad word.
Me: What does a strawberry smell like?
3 year old: A triangle!
Adalee: Miss Bethany, I sat down too hard and hurt my button! (bottom)
Miss Gina: Let's talk about the 5 senses. What is something we can see?
Arnold: A TV!
Miss Gina: Good! Now, Elliott, what is something we can taste?
Arnold (whispers to Elliott): I'll give you a hit: don't say TV!
Travis: I told my mom to have two more babies...that way, me, my brother, and the babies could play Super Mario 4 players.
Riley (looking at my 4D ultrasound of Kayleigh): What is it so dark in there?!?
Joshua: Can I have some more?
Miss Caroline: "Can I have some more, please?"
Joshua (slaps forehead): Ugh! I always forget that little word.
Miss Gina: What does it mean when men and women get married?
Rachel: That they're going to have a baby!
Riley (to me): Why are you wearing lipstick?
Jiahao: Because she has to wear it to look pretty!
Rachel (sits up during naptime): I can't sleep!
Me: Why not?
Rachel: My sheets don't match my pillowcase!
Caleb (on July 5th): I heard fireworks last night! It was louder than when my mom cracks an egg.
Valin: ...and we can be married!
Sydney: Do we really have to be married?
Valin: Only if we kiss...
Anna: What song is this? (listening to my Disney CD)
Me: "Chim-Chiminey" from Mary Poppins.
Anna: That's not Mary Poppins! That's a man!
Madison: Miss Bethany, you're a princess castle!
Madison: Because you're as up-in-the-air as one!
Sydney: We don't have dogs or cats at my house because my dad is allergic to their hair.
Valin: But...your dad has hair on his face...
Sydney: *gasp* Maybe he's allergic to hisself!
Miss Denise (shows a picture card): What is this?
Miss Denise: Good! And what sound does "apple" make?
Class: /a/! /a/! /a/!
Miss Denise: Great! What about this? (shows another card)
Denise: Yes! What sound does "bird" make?
Class: Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!
Miss Ana: What does a king do?
Bryson: He cooks for the queen.
Stephanie: No! He just sits in his magic chair.
Me: Madison, why isn't your homework in your folder?
Madison: I don't know! I guess the leprechauns took it!
Eric: Miss Bethany, what happened to your tummy?!?
Me: It's growing--there's a baby in it.
Eric (wide-eyed and horrified): WHY?!?!?
Elizabeth: Miss Bethany, you can draw trees? Wow! You're a good drawer!
Sophia: Yesterday, I went to Chuck-in-the-Cheese!
Me: Alden, go get a napkin and wipe your mouth. You have food all over your face.
Alden: I know. That's what I ate for breakfast.
Caleb: I really am a superhero...just... nobody knows it yet.
Jiahao: That man outside is smoking!
Alden: Oh no! His lungs are gonna look like a barbeque.
Caleb: Rachel, you and I should get married anytime.
Caleb: Because, boy plus girl makes sense.
Riley (pointing to the belt I was wearing just below my bust): Why is your belt all the way up there?
Me: I have to wear it up high because my belly is too big for me to wear it around my waist.
Riley: You should just take that baby out so that you can be skinny again!