Saturday, February 6, 2010

On the Subject of Being Good

I'm home alone today. Jesse is with the youth at the LCMS's annual LoveFest, a day-long seminar about purity and waiting til marriage. I was going to go, but I was really sick this week (only I could manage to get a cold, the stomach flu, and a sinus infection all in one week!). Plus, I already passed that test with flying colors ;-)

Even though I needed a day home just to r e l a x, I am kind of bummed that I'm not at LoveFest. I'm curious what it's like! I've never attended anything like that. I don't know if the Christian culture has changed and talking that openly is ok now, or if it always has been, and just not in the little culture that I grew up in.

From the time I was in jr. high to the time I graduated high school, I went to weekend winter retreats in Idyllwild (such sweet memories at OPC winter camps!). Anyway, this one year--I was a sophomore, I think--the guest speaker based his messages on Song of Solomon, and everyone just about had a heart attack!

It's pretty funny to think about now, looking back.

Christians can't just shy away from the subject, and that's why I applaud the attempt at LoveFest (of course, I can't really sing their praises too loud since I've never been to one). It's such an important thing to be open about. Silence only makes kids curious, forbidden topics only make them hungry for answers.

People talk about purity, and how kids need to be "good" and wait until marriage. What they don't talk about, and what I think kids don't understand is how hard remaining pure actually is.
When I was a teenager, I thought purity was easy. I read good books, only watched movies approved by my parents, knew that anything I looked at online would show up in the history, and thought that there was nothing to remaining pure in a relationship. No one had told me that it was hard.

When I began dating, I freaked out about how easy it was to be tempted to go further than I knew I should. I remember spending hours one day at a Christian book store poring over the relationships section looking for easy answers. I spent about $50 that day looking for answers. But you know what? They aren't in a relationship book.

I'm so thankful that God protected me and Jesse and blessed our relationship. Love is so beautiful when it's not fraught with temptation and secrets.

Jesse and I talk a lot about how we will raise our kids and answer their questions. We grew up with such completely different backgrounds; it's interesting to evolve our own parenting style. Now don't anyone get excited--we don't have an announcement for you! We just talk about things now so that we'll be ready when the time comes.

One of the most important things about talking with kids is being honest. No shady answers, no "I'll explain when you're older," (though of course, age-appropriate answers are a must!). Don't leave them curious enough to seek answers elsewhere.

Prepare them for how hard remaining pure can be. Don't believe anyone who says it's a piece of cake! (If they really mean it, they're superhuman.)

"Being good" isn't easy. It never has been, whether it was staying awake from fresh-baked cookies or changing the channel. But with the best preparation and the right armor, kids can face the foe.

Not sure why this popped into my head today. Just something to think about. I like talking to others about how they were raised and how they plan on (or are) raising their kids.

What's your style?


  1. I always thought I'd raise my kids more or less the way Atticus Finch did. Maybe a little more open-love on the parent/child front; but what I mean is that he was always honest with them. I like that. It lets kids know that you trust them. If a kid is brought up being trusted, (mostly like we were), it seems like the bond between parent and child will always be stronger.

  2. You should try holding back even kissing a guy you've known is the one for 4 years! I know I'm not supposed to be envious, but I really do secretly envy all my married friends! :(

  3. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I'll certainly be back.


Your sweet comments make my day! Thank you for coming to visit ♥